Ezio's Christmas
by ProtoAssassin
Summary: this is a parody of ' a christmas carol' . rated T for swearing. its finnaly finished
1. Chapter 1

A Christmas Carol - Assassino Version

It is holiday season in Rome. The city can finally get in the mood of well-wishing,  
>since it has been 5 years since the fall of the Borgia.<br>There is great hustle in the crowded streets of Rome. Among the crowded streets walks a man known as Auditore. Yes it is our old friend Ezio who liberated Rome.  
>But since the last 5 years, there has been a lot of chage in Ezio. Since he became the mentor, a lot of things have happened to him. And no, not good things. Since the day he recieved the news of Leonardo's ...well... um... lets just call it 'passing' , the assassin has'nt been the same. Ezio had become what the people generally think when they hear the word 'assassin'.<br>No for the last time stop telling me that he is already an assassin. I already know that. I play all the games. And seriously, if one more game features him, Ubisoft should call the franchise EZIO'S CREED. But oh well, who cares ?  
>Anyway, back to the story. Ezio had become the exact opposite of the man we know of him as. He had become cold hearted, scepticle, miserly and oh well lets just call him the Ebenezer Scrooge of the assassins,<p>

" Messere, Could you give me some coins ? It's Christmas and I have no place to stay or anything to eat." asked a boy of about 7.

" Go bug your parents kid." was the cold reply that came from Ezio.

" But messere , I have no one." protested child.

" Thats not my problem kid, now get out of my way" said Ezio shoving the child to the snow covered ground.

While most of you may feel sorry for the kid, this was another everyday event for Ezio.

Ezio finnaly reached the Tiber Island hideout. Even in the assassins lair, it was a time of merry-making. All the recruits were busy drinking, some were feasting some were dancing [ in simple terms there was a hell of a party going on in there].  
>Even Machiavelli was drunk .<p>

'" Ezio join us. Everyone, il mentore has returned." said Machiavelli in a drunk tone.  
>Machiavelli who never looked happier to see Ezio extended his arms to give his friend a hug.<p>

Ezio reacetd violently causing Machiavelli to fall down. Everyone was looking at Ezio with the "WTF" look.

" What is going on in here ?" demande a grumpy Ebenze...er...Ezio.

" Mentore, we were celebrating. Why dont you join us." told a recruit.  
>" This is not expected from assassins. Go back to your duties." commanded Ezio.<p>

"Uh uh." everyone protested.

" I your Mentore demand it." proclaimed Ezio.

" What a party pooper." muttered a recruit while going back to his duty.

" I heard that." told Ezio.

Well finally the noise died down. Everyone went back to their duties.  
>Machiavelli who had'nt rise was sleeping on the floor. Felling the silence of the night Ezio went of to sleep. Little did he know that he would have some unexpected guests.<p>

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	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- The ghost of christmas past

It was 1 in the morning, Ezio was sleeping like a baby [ correction- since babies dont snore.  
>we'll have to do with ' like a log']. Suddenly, Ezio heard a konck on his door.<p>

" Must be Machiaveli ." Ezio thought. He didnt want a drunk Machiavelli disturbing his beauty sleep, so he didnt open the door.

The knocks continued for about half an hour. Ezio was annoyed, more annoyed than the annoying orange could annoy.

" Who the fuck is there ?" Ezio shouted.

" Open the fucking door already" came back as an awnser from an unknown voice.  
>Ebeneze...er...Ezio took out his hidden blade and went to the door to deal with the jerk who waked him up at such an unholy hour. When he opened the , he saw a hooded man wearing flowing white robes.<p>

" Santa ?" Ezio was overwhelmed with joy.

" No shithead im Altair Ibn la Ahad, better known as the ghost of christmas past for this fic." came the reply from the mysterious hooded man. He noticed that Ezio was distracted.  
>" Whats wrong with you ?" asked Altair.<p>

" That name of yours."

" Are you suprised to see your great great great great [ 28 greats later] grandfather ?''

" No your name is longer than the great wall of china..."

Altair facepalms.

'' You must be wondering why I have come to you right now." asked Altair.

" To give me my presents ?" Ezio asked while hoping to recieve gifts from the specter who had missed so many birthdays and christmases of his great great great great [ 28 greats later]  
>grandson.<p>

" No i'm here to allow you to let go of this inhuman lifestyle. I have come to make you a true christian."

" But you were muslim..." [ No racial comments wanted]

" Well, after i banged up your great great great great [ 28 greats later] grandmother,  
>she made me convert. I also want to change you"<p>

" How do you want to change me ? Do you want me to quit being an assassin ?"

" Even though you hate yourself for being an assassin in the trailer of ASSASSIN'S CREED EMBERS, i'm not here for that. I want to turn you into into a generous ,  
>kind god loving man of the people."<p>

" Says the guy who killed so many beggers and never spared a coin."

Altair who apparently didnt have enough time to listen to his great great great great [ 28 greats later] grandson, caught Ezio by the collar. Smoke filled up the room. When it cleared, the two assassins were nowhere to be seen.

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	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Ezio and Altair could see people but they could not touch anything.  
>It seemes that nobody could see or hear them [cause if they did, they would have laughed seeing Ezio in his teddy pajamas].<p>

" Where have you brought me ?" Ezio asked Altair

" This is when our family started celebrating christmas." Altair replied

" Can we go back ? I need to sleep ?"

" NO"

" Why not ?"

" Because in the original story, three ghosts appeared_"

Someone threw a brick at Altair's face for trying to break the fourth wall.

" Altair can you at least tell me whats going on ?"

" Look."

Malik was sitting on a chair sharpening his sword. " I'll kill Altair for what he has done ." thought Malik [ giving the audience a clue of what was going on]. Altair [ the real one] enters with Maria following while holding a box.

" Malik , we need to talk." Altair poked Malik.

" Cant you see I'm sharpening my sword to kill Altair for what he has done."  
>Mailk replied then looked. " Opps, I didnt see you. Oh hey you brought that templar bitch with you. Whats in the box ?"<p>

Altair and Maria were getting really pissed of.

" Malik, we brought you a gift." Altair said. Then he took out a wooden hand from the box and handed it to Malik.

" What is it ?" Malik asked.  
>" Since you lost your hand because of me , i made you a new one.<br>The apple helped me make it." Altair said like a second grader

" And have you made a brother for me also ?" Malik asked who was clearly amused by Altair's stupidity.

" Well me and Maria are working on that one. Could take 8 more months."  
>Altair muttered.<p>

" Congratulations Maria, didnt know you were pregnant." Mailk told without thinking. Next thing Mailk knew, there was a book self ontop of him.

====[ END SCENE]====

Ezio looked at Altair [ the ghost one ] and couldnt stop laughing. Altair"s face was red with embaressment.

" So gramps, thats how it started." chuckled Ezio.

Altair didnt give any response, he just punched Ezio in the face. The next thing Ezio knew was that he was in his bed. He dismissed what just happened as a dream,  
>until he saw a blood soaked feather.<p>

Please forgive me for the bad chapter. I ran out of ideas. But reviews are always welcome. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chaepter 4

Ezio dismissed what he saw for a dream. He then threw the bloodsoaked feather in the trash and went back to sleep.  
>A ghastly voice was heard " how dare you do that"<br>Ezio just laid down and went to sleep. The clock striked two or maybe three.. A specter appeared , this time more ac2 oriented

" Ezio... Ezio... Wake up brother" said the ghost

" Who Santa ?" Ezio replied sleepily

" Wake up fool " said said the ghost in a more human voice

" Federico ?"

" Yes you damned fool"

" Brother..." Ezio said with teary eyes as he had seen his brother in almost thirty years.

" Cut the emotional crap and get this over with. They are giving free beer in heaven"

" You went to heaven ?" asked Ezio who thought the impossible had occured.

" No i'm lying you jerk now hurry." Federico\ ghost of christmas present said and they dissappered.

" Where are we " Ezio asked. Then he saw his long dead family celebrating christmas almost fifty years ago. Nostalgiaseemed to bring tears to Ebene...er...Ezio.

Then Federico brought him back to the present.

" What are you doing " asked an annoyed Ezio

" I told you i was in a hurry. Now remember what you saw and cherish christmas." Federico\ghost of christmas present told as he faded

Ezio then went back to sleep. Another hour passed and there was another person trying to wake Ezio.

This time it was Desmond.

Ezio had enough ghosts for one night. He took out his crossbow and shoot Desmond in the head and went back to sleep.

====[ MEANWHILE ]===

Desmond woke up in the middle of the night.

" Was that a dream ?" he thought to himself

Then Desmond heard a knock on the door. When he opened the door he saw Lucy wearing just a santa hat .

" Take your presents Desmond." Lucy said while entering Desmond's room closing the door behind her.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE evaen though its just september hope you enjoyed this. please review.  
> <p>


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